"I am the backbone of this household."
Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Friday, October 21, 2016
Joe Biden: "Barack, please don't leave me with them."
Obama: "Joe, you're leaving when I leave."
Joe Biden: "Oh right. Lmao. Love you."
at 6:54:00 AM
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
When you tell yourself you're gonna start exercising and eating clean.
* picture of Pinocchio and his nose, which grows whenever he lies *
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Saturday, October 15, 2016
When you're drunk af (as f*ck) and start being friends with everyone.
* picture of a small dog swimming with dolphins *
at 5:41:00 AM
Oh, you're a real Trump fan? Name 3 of his songs then.
* picture of US Presidential nominee Donald Trump singing into a microphone *
Friday, October 14, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Monday, October 10, 2016
Sunday, October 9, 2016
You're in your house and you hear a door slam, you turn around and see him... what do you do?
* picture of Michael Myers from the Halloween movie series *
Ask him what bills he pay to be slamming doors in my fuckin' house.
at 12:39:00 PM
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Thursday, October 6, 2016
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Monday, October 3, 2016
I bought a beer sleeve that looks like a ballistic vest and it fits my dog.
at 7:20:00 AM