Thursday, September 29, 2016
When you're mad at bae and look for any reason to get out of the house.
* photograph of man washing his car in the rain *
at 7:33:00 PM
I live for the moment when my phone is fully charged, so I can unplug it and roll to the other side of the bed.
at 7:21:00 AM
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
When she promised you were only watching a movie and you feel her hand crawl up your thigh.
* picture of The Office character Michael Scott screaming *
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
Monday, September 26, 2016
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Saturday, September 24, 2016
When you're drunk and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.
Painting of woman with the captions:
"Who the fuck is that?"
Friday, September 23, 2016
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Tuesday, September 20, 2016
Girlfriend: Dominate me.
Me: * picture of Free For All loading on the map Rust *
For those of you that are out of the loop, Rust was a popular map on the first-person shooter game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Because the map was extremely small, it was often used whenever two players wanted to take each other on 1v1. The joke here is that he is so used to playing Call of Duty that he has missed the sexual cue and is now looking to dominate his girlfriend in a 1v1 quickscoping match.