Saturday, December 24, 2016

Me trying to follow a Youtube tutorial.

Me trying to follow a Youtube tutorial.

Me trying to follow a Youtube tutorial.
* picture of girl whose makeup has gone horribly wrong *

Friday, December 23, 2016

When someone asks why you're drunk in the middle of the afternoon.

When someone asks why you're drunk in the middle of the afternoon.
When someone asks why you're drunk in the middle of the afternoon.
* picture of a woman with the caption "I'm an adult." *

When it sinks in that you're not getting a puppy for Christmas.

When it sinks in that you're not getting a puppy for Christmas.
When it starts to sink in that you're not getting a puppy for Christmas.
* picture of a sad Will Ferrell drinking from a Christmas mug *

Thinking of all the ways I could have spent that money.

Me on Christmas Day
Me on Christmas Day watching my family opening the gifts I brought them, thinking of all the ways I could have spent that money on myself.
* picture of a boy holding a mug on the couch and looking unhappy *

Monday, December 19, 2016

When your test score is so low...


When your test score is so low your teacher asks about your personal life.
* picture of Kim Kardashian looking shocked *

When you say you're going to take an hour nap.

When you say you're going to take an hour nap.
When you say you're going to take an hour nap and wake up 10 hours later.
* picture of a dog looking tired and confused *

Me when I start liking someone.

Me when I start liking someone.

When I start liking someone:
* photo of The Grinch with the caption "Help me! I'm feeling!"

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Studying hard I imagine!

Studying hard I imagine!
Mum: Studying hard I imagine! x
Screenshot of somebody Googling "why do dogs and cats not get along"

Too petty to text first.

Too petty to text first.
When you are ignoring each other and waiting for a text back, but you are both too petty to text first.

Google search confirms your intellectual dominance.

Google search confirms your intellectual dominance.
When you and your friend are arguing about something and the Google search confirms your intellectual dominance.
* picture of alien from Mars Attacks *

Rely on their memory to remember your own past.

Rely on their memory to remember your own past.

When you've been close to someone for so long you rely on their memory to remember your own past.

Monday, December 12, 2016

If you see me eating salad in a restaurant...

If you see me eating salad in a restaurant...
If you see me eating salad in a restaurant, I have been kidnapped and I am trying to signal you.

How to handle life's problems.

How to handle life's problems.

How to handle life's problems.
* illustrated drawing of a man sleeping on a couch *
Sleep or take a nap. You will either feel better or worse when you wake up, but it's better than suffering.

I finally found the perfect dress.



I finally found the perfect dress.
* photograph of a girl wearing a dress that carries glasses of wine / champagne *

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?



Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I mean, I'm already pretty cool. But, I wanna get cooler.

When someone references a meme from like 2 days ago.

When someone references a meme from like 2 days ago.
When someone references a meme from like 2 days ago.
* photo of Michael Cera with the caption "forced laughing" *

Me at the beginning of 2016 vs me at the end of 2016.



Me at the beginning of 2016 vs me at the end of 2016.
* Photo comparison of Will Smith in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air vs Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness saying "Please Help *

When you and your friend start having emotional conversations while drinking.

When you and your friend start having emotional conversations while drinking.
* Photograph of two drunk barbie dolls lying down with a bottle of alcohol *

When my mom tells me to put the angel at the top of the tree.

When my mom tells me to put the angel at the top of the tree.

When my mom tells me to put the angel at the top of the tree.
* photograph of a girl wearing wings climbing up a Christmas tree *

Saturday, December 10, 2016

How well I'm keeping it all together right now.

How well I'm keeping it all together right now.

Actual photo of how well I'm keeping it all together right now.
* photograph of a poll being held together with masking tape *

When he says "I don't talk to other girls"

I don't talk to other girls
When he says "I don't talk to other girls".
* picture of a girl rolling her eyes *

Just to look like Neapolitan ice cream.

Why do girls spend time and money just to look like Neapolitan ice cream?

Why do girls spend time and money just to look like Neapolitan ice cream?

Friday, December 9, 2016

Wear your living room carpet instead...

Wear your living room carpet instead
When a scarf isn't warm enough so you decide to wear your fucking living room carpet instead.

Me whenever I go bowling.

Me whenever I go bowling.
Me whenever I go bowling.
Photograph of a girl bowling with the caption "Ball, I command you in the name of Jesus."

Laundry Sauce

Laundry Sauce

Who the fuck call laundry sauce detergent? OK Mr Scientist, LMAO

Me: I really need to study.

Me: I really need to study.
Me: I really need to study.
Me 5 minutes later:
Somebody looking up an article titled "Would giraffes wear ties at the top or bottom of their necks?"

When you see a dog across the street...

When you see a dog across the street
When you see a dog across the street and it's crossing and walking towards you.

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Wear something black.

Wear something black.

When anyone asks me for fashion advice. "Wear something black."

Same snap is already in their story.

Same snap is already in their story

When people send you snaps but that same snap is already in their story.
* photograph of Drake looking confused *

When you've been on a diet for 3 whole hours...

When you've been on a diet for 3 whole hours
When you've been on a diet for 3 whole hours and you're not even skinny yet.
* photograph of woman with her hand over her face and the caption "dis tew much" / "this is too much" *

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

When you order a salad to cancel out your week of binge eating.

When you order a salad to cancel out your week of binge eating
When you order a salad to cancel out your week of binge eating and feel healthy AF.

I end every piece of advice with "idk though"...

I end every piece of advice with "idk though"

I end every piece of advice with "idk though", so that it's not my fault if I ruin your life.

When I ask for the price of something...

When I ask for the price of something

When I ask for the price of something and it turns out to be expensive AF, so I have to act like I'm thinking about it.
* DJ Khalid holding his chin *

Saturday, November 26, 2016

When people ask me what I do for fun.



When people ask me what I do for fun.
* picture of Homer Simpson sleeping *

When you see a cute guide dog.

When you see a cute guide dog.

When you see a cute guide dog but you can't pet it because it's a hard working professional.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Evil Kermit Memes

A set of those "Evil Kermit Memes" - the "me to me" Kermit the Frog memes that represent your darker side.

Tell him goodnight at 5pm.
Me: I should calmly explain to him what's bothering me.
Me to me: Tell him goodnight at 5pm.

Cry and accuse him of not loving you.
Me: I have no comeback for his argument.
My mind: Cry and accuse him of not loving you.
Me: But...
My mind: I said what I said.

Keep it open so everyone can see your outfit.
Me: It's cold outside. I should close my jacket.
My brain: Keep it open so everyone can see your outfit.
Me: But it's co...
My brain: The outfit...


"It's _____ birthday."
Me: Let me go tell them happy birthday real quick.
Also me: Did they tell you happy birthday?

evil kermit
Me: I'm only meeting him to chill.
Me to me: Shave yourself just in case x.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Don't discuss Titanic with Joe.

Don't discuss Titanic with Joe

Obama: Don't discuss Titanic with Joe (Joe Biden).
DiCaprio: Why?
Obama: He's still upset. He thinks you could have fit on that door, and I don't disagree.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Not usually a sign guy, but geez.

Not usually a sign guy, but geez.

One of my favourite signs from this giant protest in New York City today:

"Not usually a sign guy, but geez."

Trump Oompa Loompa

Trump Oompa Loompa
Be careful who you call ugly in middle school.
* comparison of an Oompa Loompa and President Elect Donald Trump *

Obama: Who's funeral is this again?

So, who's funeral is this again?
Obama: So, who's funeral is this again?
Joe Biden: America.
Obama: Joe...

Every mom on Christmas...

Every mom on Christmas

Every mom on Christmas while you opening up that gift they swore they weren't getting you.
* picture of a kid smiling and holding a cup *

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Everyone's slamming Donald Trump

Everyone's slamming Donald Trump

Everyone's slamming Donald Trump but I didn't see Hilary Clinton help Kevin find the lobby (in reference to Home Alone 2, which Trump had a brief cameo appearance in).

Trump Googling "What does the President do?"

Trump: What does the President do?

A photograph of US President Elect Donald Trump Googling the phrase "what does the president do?"

Thursday, November 3, 2016

I hate when I show my mom a funny video / pic...

I hate when I show my mom a funny video / pic

I hate when I show my mom a funny video / pic and she says "who is that?"
I don't know. Just laugh and give my phone back.